I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she smelled like a LAN party
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
