My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
