yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
