Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
