This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
