i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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