did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
