matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
What a dumb baby whore.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
