Whod you bang
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
