..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
