i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
