She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
