Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
