so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
