Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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