You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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