I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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