Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
