your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
