idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
