We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
