I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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