yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
