At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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