how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He passed out mid-signature
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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