Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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