final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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