I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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