You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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