I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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