We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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