dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
