Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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