yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
