The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
