so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
