"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
