I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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