i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
