the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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