I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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