its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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