i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
