How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
