I wish I could teleport
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
