My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
