Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
