i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
