this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
