Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
